Curtis vs Bernard
by Theinsanefangirl
Summary: Curtis and Bernard have never really gotten along. But things get worse between them as Curtis does the worse thing to Bernard he could ever do. Disclaimer: I don't own Santa Clause. If I did Bernard would be in the third movie.
1. I'll get you back

It was a beautiful day in the North Pole. The elves were busy making toys, while Bernard, the head elf, watched over them. Santa was checking his list, with his wife by his side.

"Oh. Looks like little Bobby's been naughty." He said to her.

"I guess he'll get coal then." She replied. "But look, his sister, Cindy has been very good."

"Well, then I hope he doesn't get angry that she gets presents." Bernard burst through the door.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" He asked, nervously. When they shook their heads, he was relieved. "Well, uh... Santa... I can't find Curtis." Santa got up quickly.

"Honey, stay here." She nodded, and sat down. He followed Bernard through the toyshop. "Are you sure you looked everywhere?"

"I checked everywhere, Santa." His ears perked up as he heard music coming the kitchen. Bernard knew at once Curtis was in there and went in. They found Curtis, lying on the floor, looking very sick. Bernard shut off the music and Curtis looked at him. There were cookie crumbs all over the floor. "Eating the cookies, huh?"

"Don't forget the cocoa." An elf named Abby said, looking angry. "I just got in here and found him." She stomped out of the room.

"Curtis..." Santa said, sitting next to him. "This is the third time this week. You've got to cut the sweets."

"I'll try..." He said weakly.

"No, you won't try. You will cut the sweets." Bernard said, crossing his arms.

"You're one to talk. Santa told me you ate food at his ex wife's house."

"Oh, shut up. I just ate some of the bird and a burrito. I never finished either of them." He finished, shooting a look at Santa. He sighed and left the kitchen. Curtis was turning green and Santa could tell something was happening. He hauled him to his feet. He ran out as fast as he could. Santa heard a 'bleh.' It was pretty obvious Curtis threw up.

"Curtis!" Bernard yelled. "I just had this cleaned!" He stomped up the stairs, and stuck his shirt in the washing machine. He took out a spare and put it on. "Stupid Curtis."

After a few hours of sulking, Bernard went downstairs. Curtis was lying on the couch. He smirked, as he grabbed a dirty rag from the kitchen. He walked near to Curtis, who was sleeping. He then dropped the rag on his face. He awoke.

"What's the big idea?" He yelled. "EEWWW! You're sick, Bernard."

"If I'm so sick, then why did you throw up on me?"

"I couldn't help it."

"Yes, you could. You didn't have to eat all of those sweets."

"Yes I did. They were calling to me. The cookies were saying, 'Curtis, eat us. Eat us!'" Bernard grabbed the rag again and threw it on Curtis's face. He took the rag off and threw it back. Bernard ducked and it hit Santa in the face.

"Curtis..." He said, with the rag still on his face. "Don't do that." He took it off. "Go up to your room and stay there." Curtis glared at Bernard as he walked away.  
"I swear I'll get you back."

"I'll be waiting." He smiled.

Curtis was planning on how to get Bernard back. He had no idea how, though.

"There has to be some way to get him to lose his job." He whispered to himself. "Let's think, Curtis. I got it!" He hurried off into Bernard's bedroom, where he could hear the shower running. "Hey, Bernard!" He yelled.

"What do you want?" Bernard yelled back. "I'm a little busy."

"Oh, are you stinky?"

"Shut up, Curtis."

"What's the point of taking a shower?"

"Let me tell you something. A clean elf, is a happy elf. If you stink, no one can work." Curtis laid down on Bernard's bed. He heard the shower being turned off. And after a few minutes, bathroom door was starting open. Bernard stood there, fully dressed, hair dripping wet.

"Let me tell you something, Bernard." He smirked. "A clean elf, is a gay elf." He started to run, as Bernard was chasing him.  
"Get back here, you little freak!" He yelled. As they were running, they bumped right into Santa and knocked him over. "Santa! Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." He got up. "What are you doing?"

"He's trying to kill me, Santa." Curtis yelled out.

"Bernard?" Santa turned to his head-elf. "If you're going to try to kill my elve, then I'm afraid you can't be head-elf anymore." Bernard's eyes turned to complete terror.

"W-what?" He stuttered. Tears were forming in his eyes. It had been so long since he cried.

"I'm sorry." He said, turning away from the crying elf. Curtis smirked.

"I told you I'd get you back." Bernard ignored Curtis and sadly walked up to his bedroom.


	2. A phony smile

Bernard stayed in his room for days, only eating what Abby bought up to him. He was torn up. On the third day of staying in his room, Curtis came in.

"Hiya, Bernard." He said. "Feeling sad? Here's some cocoa." He put a mug of hot cocoa on the nightstand next to Bernard's bed. Bernard was getting angry that Curtis was in his

room. "How you doing?" He couldn't take it anymore. He hit the mug with his hand, causing it to smash against the wall and cocoa was all over the carpet.

"You want to do how I'm doing?!" He yelled. "I'll tell you. This is the worst thing you have ever done to me." Curtis was appalled.

"I just wanted to get you back. No big deal."

"It is a big deal, Curtis. All I did was duck when you throw the rag at him and it hit Santa. I never cost you your job! When I came here, I was just an elf making toys like everyone else here. I was hoping to get promoted at least to #2 elf. I did, and I was happy. When the head-elf retired, Santa, the other before the current one, gave me the job. I worked so hard for this and you had to take it away!"

"Bernard..." Curtis started.

"No! Just go. I don't want to talk to you or anybody." Curtis, starting to feel guilty, opened the door and left.

"How's Bernard doing, Curtis?" Santa asked, holding a cookie in one hand.

"Not too well." He replied, keeping his gaze away from Santa. He sighed and walked away. He was feeling really guilty for doing this.

Bernard didn't come down the whole day, and

stayed in his bed, reading a book. Once in a while, tears would fall down his cheeks and have a stain on the pages.

"Don't cry, Bernard. It's not the end of the world." He kept telling himself this. But nothing seemed to work. "I'm so pathetic."

"No, you're not." Abby said, walking in with a bowl of soup. "You're one of the best head-elves we've ever had here." He smiled at her.

"Thank you, Abby. But I don't think there's way for me to get back as Head-elf. Wait... as long as no one else has the job, I have a chance."

"Well... actually..." She began. He put up a hand to stop her.

"Don't tell me. Curtis is the head-elf now?" She nodded. "Great! Wait... I have an idea. Is there a 2nd head elf yet?"

"Nope, not yet."

"Alright... I have to get that job and overthrow Curtis."

"Are you really going to stoop to his level, Bernard?" She asked, with a stern look.

"He deserves it, after what he just put me through." He replied, wiping his eyes.

"But that was pretty mean of him. You don't want to be like Curtis do you?" He looked at her and shook his head. "Good. Just wait... Santa will realize he made a mistake and beg

you to come back." She smiled, leaving the bowl of soup on his nightstand and leaving the room. He sighed, pulling up his covers and shutting off the light. He didn't feel like soup.

The next day was the first day Bernard came down from his room. He avoided everyone and headed for the kitchen. But of course, Santa and Curtis were in there, eating

cookies. He tried his best to avoid them, but Santa called out his name.

"Yes, Santa?" He asked. He knew he had to talk to him sooner or later.

"Are you alright?" Bernard smiled, but Santa knew it was phony, as did Curtis.

"Who, me? Of course I'm alright! I'm just dandy! I feel great today! Now if you don't mind, I'm going to grab something to eat!" He walked away. But as his whole body was

turned, his eyes filled up with tears. Wiping them away, he grabbed a cookie and left.

"That was such a phony smile." Curtis said to Santa, who nodded. "I hope he's doing okay." Once again, Santa nodded.

Bernard was sitting in Santa's office, watching the puppets. He munched on his cookie.

"Why the long face?" They asked at the same time. He shook his head. He didn't want to talk at all.

"Fine, don't tell us!"

"I don't intend to." He whispered under his breath. Punch let out a "hmmph!" and continued to play with Judy. "What am I going to do?" He buried his face in his hands. He let out a heavy sigh.

Santa and Carol came in their room. They saw Bernard, with a very depressed look on his face. He spotted them and jumped up.

"Uh... Hello, Santa, Mrs. Claus." He stammered. "I'm sorry. I'll just leave." He ran out as fast as he could, and shutting the door behind him.

"He's not doing well." Carol whispered, stroaking her husband's white hair. He shook his head.

"No he isn't." He replied. "I don't know what to do Carol."

"Let him be head-elf again. It's that simple, dear."

"I can't do that. I can't just say Come back. He can work in the factory like he did a long time ago."

Carol took Santa's hand and put it to her face. Closing his eyes, Santa came to a very difficult decision.


	3. What's going to happen now?

Bernard was called down the next day. He hurried down the stairs, though he didn't want to. It was still painful seeing Curtis as the head-elf. He found Santa, Carol, and Curtis

waiting for him.

"You called me, Santa?" He asked. He tried his best to put his bangs in front of his eyes. But they were irritating and had to fix it.

"Yes, I did. Um... How are you doing, Bernard?"

"I'm fine. You asked me this yesterday."

"So he did." Carol said. "Well, um... why aren't you working yet?" He went a bit red in the face.

"I guess I'm not ready for it yet." He replied.

"I see..." Santa began. "Why don't you go back upstairs?" He nodded and hurried up the stairs, once more. Curtis sighed, and got up and left, without saying a word.

"What are you going to do?" Carol turned to her husband with a concerned look.

"I have no choice."

"There has to be another way!"

"There is no other way! I have to do it."

Carol put her arms around his waist, and sighed deeply.

Later in the day, Bernard was in his room, reading again. Abby came in.

"Santa would like to see you, Bernard." She said very quietly.

"Again?" He asked. He set his book down on the nightstand and followed her down the stairs. Santa was with his wife, Curtis, and all the other elves. They looked troubled.

Bernard was thinking that something bad was going to happen.

"Bernard, I'm sorry." Carol said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Now he was certain that something bad was happening.

"What is it, Santa?" He asked.

"Look, I'm sorry I had to tell you to stop being Head-elf." He said. "But... If you're not going to work at all. Then I don't see any reason for you to continue staying here."

"Yes, I understand." Bernard replied, with tears going down his cheeks. "I'll go and get my things later." He headed for the door.

"Stop!!" Curtis yelled. "Santa, you can't make Bernard leave! It's my fault. I insulted him and he got angry. It's all my fault. Please, don't make him go."

"Curtis..." Santa started. "I respect your honesty. But that was a terrible thing for you to do."

"Santa, don't make Curtis leave either." Bernard said quietly. "I'm the reason he wanted to get me back. I threw the rag on Curtis, he threw it back, I ducked, and it hit you. I got

him in trouble."

"Bernard, I respect you for your honesty as well. And I made a mistake making you leave. I would be honored if you would return as head-elf." Bernard was still in tears, but

smiled. "Of course, if it's alright with Curtis?"

"Yeah, it is." He replied. "I'm still going to get your job. But, I'm not going get it by dirty ways." Bernard smiled at Curtis. "What?"

"You care about me." He said.Curtis glared at him.

"I do not."

"Admit it, number 2!"

"You care about me too."

"I do not!"

"Do too!" Santa smiled. It was good to hear them bickering again. Everything was back to normal.

"Fine, I do. But, I still don't like you."

"I don't like you either." Curtis said smugly.

"I've got an idea!" An elf named Joey yelled. "Let's all play some Tinsel Football." Everyone cheered.

"Come on, Bernard." Curtis said, dragging him outside.

"Okay, Curtis..." Joey said. "You go over there. You guys over here and Bernard, you stay over at the end zone."

"Oh, I'm not playing."

"Come on!" Another elf said. "You have to. Please?" Bernard gave in. The game started shortly after.

"Hike!" An elf yelled, as the other one grabbed the ball. Santa was running toward them.

"I'm going to win this time." He said, trying to grab the ball. "Give me the ball."

"JOEY!" Joey caught the ball was running to the end zone. Santa was coming fast toward him, so he threw it to Curtis.

"I got it!" He yelled back. "Bernard, catch!" He threw it to Bernard.Santa tried to dive toward the ball, but fell flat on his face.

"Alright..." He caught the ball and threw it on the ground at the end zone. They all cheered.

"Great game, you guys." Santa said, panting. "Great game..."

"Great job, Bernard!" Joey yelled, giving him a high five.

"Thanks. Now, come on, you guys. Back to work!" They all rushed into the factory to start making toys. Bernard was back patrolling the workshop and he couldn't be happier.


End file.
